Hunting for a template

[NotASingleWhiteFemale]

I'm not good at templates, websites, CSS, HTML or Javascript and don't really have the time nor inclination to learn much about them.

What I'm looking for - and I hope somebody can help - is a template that'll work with WB that has the following attributes:

1. A centred black, shiny button menu at the top.
2. No header.
3. Full width pages,
4. No sidebar.
5. No side menu.
6. No footer.
7. Black background.

Can anybody help?